Am I a Sadist............?

I feel empathy I think? not really sure what empathy is.... there are so many terms. But I do like to see other people hurting I fell as if no one cared as a child if I was hurting or being hurt at home or at school by bullies and now as an adult why should i care about them, I see no reason too and now with so many years of liking seeing others in pain and feeling nothing but enjoyment while doing it why should I change that? Please help me I don't want to be the person people stare and call crazy.... am I really a sadist?